How Can I Stop My Divorce - What You Must Not Do To Save Your Marriage
It is perfectly understandable if marriages go through rocky roads. Your relationship is tested by time every so often, but sometimes, conflicts take their toll and one party begins to think divorce is the only way out for them.
If your spouse is considering filing a divorce, you have to be ready to either concede to the decision or go against it. If you are to protest to it, you should go against it peacefully. "How do I stop my divorce peacefully," you may ask.
It must be known that it is not easy to stop a divorce if your spouse is determined to file it, but you can change or alter your partner's mind by following these things:
- I can stop my divorce by not clinging or begging.
You should not beg your spouse to change her/his mind because that will only make you appear desperate. You should act better than that.
Furthermore, your saying that you have changed and things will be better soon is only your spouse's way of believing that you cannot change and become a better person. Your words will not have an effect on your spouse; your promises would not be valid unless some sort of concrete proof is presented.
If you are willing to change, do not say you will; show you will. Lip service is never better than tangible acts.
- I can stop my divorce by not blackmailing my spouse emotionally.
If you have to say the magic words, do not say them while you are in the saving the marriage. When you repeatedly tell your spouse that you love him/her, the person will only think that you are blackmailing emotionally.
This is because you are targeting the softest spot of the emotions. This action can push him/her further away than drawing them closer. The words are necessary but are better left unsaid, at least while the marriage is being salvaged.
You can save these words for later, when the relationship is finally mended.
- I can stop my divorce by agreeing instead of arguing.
Negating your partner's words is probably the worst defense you can use. No matter how disagreeable or displeasing your spouse's words are, you should never oppose them if you want to save your marriage.
If you keep on defending yourself of the false accusations, it would just appear that you are guilty and trying to find a way out.
However, if you agree and submit to every word that your spouse says, you are going to put off the flame and get rid of the hostility. Your partner would not want to attack you if you are flashing a white flag.
The best thing about agreeing than arguing is that your husband or wife would seem to defend you at the latter part of the confrontation.
Now you know the things you must not do in order to save your marriage. Next time, you can tell the world, "I did stop my divorce and save a lifelong relationship!"
Could you forgive your husband for this?
My husband and I have been married for more than 10 years. We’ve had many issues- he was very emotionally abusive and I wanted to get a divorce, but at one point things got better and I decided to stay. Last year he lost his job and things got so much worse,he was depressed,he yelled at me for no reason, everything irritated him. But I tried to be patient,I thought that once he gets a job and we have medical insurance we’ll start going to marital therapy and try to save our marriage. We are also struggling with infertility and my husband refused to get tested to see if he was the problem. It has been very difficult for me ( he has kids from previous marriage so I don’t think he really cares).But I am devastated and it is all I can think about. He knows that I am extremely depressed about this whole infertility thing,every time I see babies I start crying.
Anyway,last week during an argument my husband said to me: “I am glad you can’t have kids,because you would make a horrible mother”. This was the most hurtful thing anyone could ever say to me. After those words I can’t look at my husband, I don’t want to talk to him or be around him. I think this is the end of our marriage,because I feel like he broke something inside of me, destroyed something in me. Now he is acting like nothing has happened and says: “I apologized, what is your issue? What is a big deal?” I am religious and I know I should forgive him but how can I forget those words and how can I keep being his wife? He disgusts me, right now I hate him. Could you forgive something like that?
Many people have been very insensitive as you what you’re going through. I often see people on this site advising divorces as the only answer to every problem because they themselves are not married or don’t know how to deal with problems outside of calling it quits–some situations, however, do call for separation, and both of you need to get a realistic perspective of this relationship and where you are in your lives. I am so sorry you are going through this. Women have a need to procreate and have children because this is what God created us to do. What your husband said was extremely hurtful. It is detestable in a marriage to try and use people’s weaknesses, fears, or things they have disclosed to you in confidence against them to make them feel bad or inferior. That was a disgusting thing to say. I myself would be broken to pieces over that.
You mentioned that you are religious. GOD forgives us all for anything so long as we turn to HIM. I had to remind my self of this fact in regards to my own marriage–if GOD can forgive us despite our constant disobedience to HIM, who are we to think that we are above forgiveness? Often times we refuse to forgive those closest to us for hurting us even though we are also sinners and have also hurt them as well. I am not excusing your husband’s behavior or statements, but the only thin you have control over and can realistically change is yourself. You cannot change your husband, and it is up to him to want to be a better man–the man that you expect him to be. Let him know you expect more of him. Let him know how surprised you were at his behavior because you would never in a million years expect that from someone like him. I understand you feelings. We love people not just for who they are but for how they make us feel about ourselves. You have to have high self-esteem, but negative comments from others can indeed affect how you view yourself.
Your husband using your issues or weaknesses against you was a way to get to you and send you to the moon because he knows how to push your buttons.
You cannot give him the satisfaction of seeing you broken to pieces. I know it’s hard, but you have to be strong. You have to let him know that you have faith in God. He will try to paint a picture of you being this crazy, insecure, and unstable person with endless issues. Let him deal with his problems. It is always easier to look out of a window than in a mirror–meaning, we often have a hard time dealing with our own issues first and want to show someone else the error of their ways and their faults. Pray for your husband and for yourself. I am concerned that his behavior and your state of mind have now led you to hate you husband. Hatred is a serious emotion. In a marriage, people are supposed to be partners. Instead of bickering amongst one another, they should be working together for a greater good and fighting against the real enemy instead of each other. Both of you have to be willing to make this marriage work. If you feel your hatred for him is keep you from being a good wife and affecting your duties as a wife, then maybe he is not the man for you. He is supposed to make you feel like a better person and help you in your time of need instead of kicking you while you’re down, and vice versa.
Maybe you have also said and done some hurtful things to him–not excusing anyone’s behavior here, just saying that two wrongs never make a right. Don’t give him a reason to be angry with you or attack you. It will make it much easier for him to focus on himself instead of worrying about what you’re doing or not doing in regards to the marriage. Focus on yourself and renew and strengthen your faith. I find it easier to forgive. I have a problem forgetting things sometimes and like to bottle them up inside until they ultimately end up affecting my perception of reality and exploding, resulting in all kinds of problems. That negative energy has no place in your life. Get rid of it, and heal yourself from the inside out. Fix your marriage if you believe it’s worth fixing. Talk to your husband and let him know how his insensitive approach makes you feel. Write him a letter, and without being accusative or nagging, tell him what he’s done to hurt you and make you feel inferior or insecure, and encourage him to do the same. Apologize to him for whatever you’ve done, and take the first step. It seems as if you value your marriage more than your ego. Find the deep rooted issues in the marriage, and then tackle the infertility problems. But first fix your marriage and make it a loving environment for children. Ask yourself if your husband is a suitable parent. If you can imagine him as the father of your children and trust their welfare with him, he also has qualities that make him a good spouse. Help each other, and ask GOD to help you.
Should I divorce him? (Long question)?
If you have some time on your hand – here’s a question I posted last night:http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AjoX_FcD5szKGjuZPMf8Dwbsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090607234916AAzkC9a
My husband and I are already talking about the divorce (in civilized and friendly manner) and I’m getting ready to file for it. However, I’m still going over my decision. Am I doing the right thing? Should I give him yet another chance.
To give more detail about what went wrong:
1. I gained some weight during the pregnancy (I wasn’t skinny when we got married either). This really bothers him. He told me many hurtful things about my body, about my undergarments. Things that make me feel ashamed to be naked when he’s in the room. (we haven’t been “together” for over a year). My mom was very good looking when my parents got married but now for the past 20 years she’s been overweight and when I tell my husband that my father didn’t stop loving her because of that and he’ll never leave her because of that, he says “I would”.
2. He says that he doesn’t love me anymore. He is a calm and easy going person and even now that he moved out he tries to make jokes with me, but for the past 6 months when we’d talk seriously and I would ask him if he loves me, he says “no” and that he doesn’t have any feelings for me.
3. We have a 16 month old beautiful daughter. However, when I was 3 months pregnant and we had an argument he suggested that I have an abortion.
4. Before we had a baby we didn’t argue much, but every time there was some missunderstanding he would tell me that he wants a divorce ‘coz he thinks it’s easier this way. Each time I would ask him NOT to say that word and if he does then to think if he really wants to be married to me. He never really gave it any thoughts and everything went to “normal”, he would tell me he loves me etc (that was pre-baby).
5. Last December I told him that I have enough and that he needs to figure out what he wants to do. He didn’t do anything to try to save this marriage. I got him some books which he didn’t read. I took him to counseling (we might have had a bad counselor) and after two sessions she told me that he’s immature, won’t change and that she’s surprised that a woman like me would want to be with a guy like him. She’s an older lady so I’m assuming she had some experience with marriage therapy. After those two sessions we each had our individual seesions, but it still didn’t change a thing.
6. We are both raised Catholics. We even had a church wedding (mostly because of my mother). However, I’m a Christian now and he says that he doesn’t believe in God. This was never an issue in our relationship. This isn’t the reason why I think about divorcing him.
7. Last September I opened my business (single practitioner esthetician). At that time my husband had another wave of “I want a divorce and I’m leaving you”. I told him to make up his mind so that I don’t open the business. Next day he said that he doesn’t want to leave our daughter (his father did that to him) and he wants me to have the business. I’m not a lazy person and I am going to get a job if I can’t make my bus. work, however since I started working for myself I didn’t make money – just to cover the costs of running this business.
8. He says that I’m controling him because I call him after his work and ask him where he is and what time he’ll be home. Before we had baby, he would get very upset so I just stopped calling him (then one day he went to a bar with a friend after work and met some girls which later would call him and he first didn’t tell me what happened and then he lied – he says nothing happened). But after baby came I told him that I need to know what time he’s going to be home if he’s not planing to come home right after work. The therapist told him that this is marriage, then he said that if marriage means that he has to tell me where he’s going and what time he’ll return home then he doesn’t want to be married.
I did everything I could to try to help him with his emotional issues but it just doesn’t seem like he wants to really work on them. Because of everything that happened I don’t even know if I still love him, I’m confused and I’m hurt. I don’t believe in staying together for the sake of the kid. What’s the point of being unhappy and arguing. That’s not good for child either. But all those answers to my other question make me think if I’m doing the right thing? Is there anything else I could do? All my friends (and therapist) tell me that losing those 30lbs won’t change him, because if he would really love me – this wouldn’t bother him. I can’t turn his heart around. He’s a little upset that I asked him to move out. But how can I live with a man that says he doesn’t love me and that my body is ugly?
By the way, my husband is 37 years old.
Thanks for reading.
He proposed to me 3 months after we met. I’m 6 years younger. I thought he had his sh** together. He was crazy in love.
Girl… Sorry you have such a mess… But nobody can tell you if divorce is what you should do.
One thing though – you seem to be latching on to any and all old arguments and missteps on his parts – so months ago you argued and he said he wanted an abortion – well hey I am sure you said some hurtful things too – that does not help anything other than you resolving to divorce. Keep that in mind if you decide to salvage the marriage.
In the end, again – it’s purely your call.
My husband is acting like a caged animal. Was this a good thing to say? can this marriage be saved?
My husband is having 2nd thoughts about our marriage and acting like a caged animal trying to get out. We were fine while dating but had to elope because his mother opposed the marriage because I have a child from a previous relationship. An ex-gf was joining her in trying to break us up. We got married to present a united front and be left alone to have our relationship, but once married my husband couldn’t tell his parents we were married and demmanded I show his parents copy of my birth certificate to prove I was born in the US and don’t need a green card. He also took them my resume against my expressed wishes not to. After about 4 weeks, he told them we were married and agreed to rent out the house he was living in before to get out from under taxes and other related expenses so he’d be able to contribute in our household. That’s when reality hit home because once he rents the house, he can’t move out of my house and back into his’. He began coming home at 11pm or later,finding fault with me and my son,etc. He went back on the rental and last night he met me at couples counseling to say he was going fishing but I came home to find most of his clothes gone. I sent him the e-mail below and he fessed up he is at his house but wants to be alone to think. I plan on leaving him totally and completely alone but here is what I said before he asked for that:
Darling,
A person doesn’t need an entire wardrobe to go on a fishing trip. So would you mind telling me what’s really going on?
If your counselor is right, and you have issues with your mom, then please work them out with her-not with or through me or with/through my child. I am not your mother or your friend with benefits. I am your wife and I won’t be turned into (ex-gf name) to chase you nor will I turn on the vindictive/psychotic. I married you for love,not control, or games.During the time we dated, I came to view you as kind, funny,easy going,considerate,affectionate and cuddly: my soulmate. I married to make you happy and be happy with you as we were when we were dating and went to baseball games and all that, but if that makes you feel trapped there is nothing I can do. Your counselor may think you are staying away because I nag but I did not start nagging until not coming home at a reasonable hour started to look like a pattern. The nagging was a reaction, not the cause and I am tired of excuses, fault finding, and accusations. So come back home with all your clothes ready to be happy as a family or come get the clothes you left here prepared to discuss an annulment or divorce. I bought them for you as birthday gifts, not to obligate you. They are yours to keep no matter what happens between us and you can wear them, swap them, or throw them into the deep blue sea. I don’t care.They are your clothes and material things don’t mean anything to me. What I care about is love, respect, and happiness. Hopefully so do you.
Love,
Your wife
No Shannon, I did not “cougar” him. I am 10yrs. younger and I am in my 40s
What ever your reasons for getting married were, know your married and I hope the marriage last. Remember he was there, you didn’t force him to do anything. He’s a grown man. Your letter was PERFECT!!! Go wifey!
You said very clearly what his options are. Know give him some time to think he really needs that. He has pressure from too many sides and is about to loose his mind with everyone pulling at him. If he comes home to you and your son, I hope he comes home to PEACE!! that goes for you and your son. His mom may have issues with you or what happened but know that you are married she is wrong.
You are his wife, his first priority, his partner she needs to accept that get on the moving train or jump off. Again,GREAT LETTER now just be still, silent, and put yourself in his shoes.
Best Wishes!!
Can I Protect the assets I aquire during my marriage?
i love my wife very much. so before you write she should dump me or i should dump her because i dont trust her, please save your breath.
We agreed to have our money seperate and have agreed to not have any children. we have been together for 3 years. We split the bills 50/50 We both work and make good money(she makes more). I prefer to save most of my money and she likes to spend hers on personal stuff. I dont have a problem with that, but a lot of my friends and their relatives are getting divorced and i keep hearing horror stories of how people lose their life savings. Even though i know she loves me very much, i cant say for certain she wont change on me and decide to leave in 10 or 20 years because people do change. I dont want to save alot of money if im going to lose most of it because in 10 years she decides that she is bored with me. Anything i can do to protect my self?
If i ask her to sign a paper , i am sure she wont care to,we understand each other100%
Nope. It’s y’alls money, not your money.
How do you get over the fact that your whole marriage was a lie?
My husband and I separated a month ago because we were fighting a lot, we aren’t divorced. We’ve been married 2 years. I am (was??) deeply in love with him…Anyway I got onto the laptop computer which I hardly ever use and went to Yahoo mail and I saw his email was saved with the password saved. I clicked in figuring I’d see horrible things and I was right. Many many emails to multiple women, ads on dating websites…the emails were telling women he loved them, talking about sex they had together, how he couldn’t wait to do it again. Graphic graphic descriptions of sex…and women who apparently thought he was in a relationship with him.
They went back a YEAR AND A HALF!!! Most of our marriage has been a complete lie, and I’m sitting here thinking of all the memories we had during that time that I cherished and they were all a lie. I can barely breathe anymore, the betrayal feels so deep and raw. I haven’t confronted my husband about this but I know I have to get a divorce..I just can’t understand how he could have done this to me. I don’t even know what I’m asking I just need help..I’m so lost.
Can My House Be Taken From Me and Children?
My husband and I have been together 21 years, we lived together 6 years, moved home to save for our wedding for 1 year and here we are married 12 years later looking at divorce. During the time we were home for 1 year saving for our wedding, he was involved in a car accident in FL. Just before our wedding he received a settlement. It paid for a number of things for him and for us, after we got married, it paid our house we just bought. His father wanted to invest it in the stock market. Imagine if he had done that?! Anyway, since then, we’ve had 2 children in OH and major marital problems, which has led to us now looking at divorcing. My question, is he is threatening to take the home from us. Since he paid the house off during the marriage, isn’t it ours? Is that not considered a gift? I know it probably doesn’t matter, but earnings wise over the years I have contributed more than he (including the settlement.) However, due to layoff and terrible job market, I’ve been out of work and only recently got a prt-time job. I cannot afford to buy another house, . Thank you for your time and responses.
Can’t Get Over Divorce-Serious answers only please?
My ex and I were together for 15 years,its been a month since our divorce.I messed up our marriage by speaking to a younger girl and everyone convinced my ex that i was fooling around.(live in a small town where everyone puts their two cents in) During our year long seperation, I was at home with my ex everyday helping her,doing everything i could for her and our three children.I would stay there with her until i put my kids to bed and sometimes still have sex with her,and stay on the weekend atleast once a month. Up until the week before our court date,she told me that she didn’t love me anymore. She said she loved me for the past we had and because i am a good father to my children. Also, while we were seperated she found the girl who i was accused of messing around,her ex boyfriend and started to talk to him.So she continues to talk to him and go out to places with him as friends, so she says. I on the other hand, do the same. I can honestly say i did not touch that girl until i was divorced. I just did because my friends would say sleep with her, you’ll get over your ex,but that didnt happen.Thus, my ex and i communicate still atleast 3-4 days out of the week,i still take her out to dinner,sometimes just us and with kids.I’m glad that she is nice about me coming over and letting me see my children freely.She is very nice to me,she is outgoing and talks to others(guys).When we are together it seems like nothing ever happened,like i’m still at home,but i’m not.During our seperation i offered counseling,everything to save it,but i didn’t.Any help please would be appreciated.
I know that you still truly love your ex-wife and hoping that being around her will make her want you back, but actually she’s having her cake and eating it too, and you are feeding it to her with your own fork. My advice to you is let the relationship between you and your ex-wife go, but please continue to be a good father and that is all. Once she thinks you are not interested anymore and possibly moving on with your life and then and only then she may just rethink the relationship; if she has any feelings left for you. Trust me as long as you continue the relationship the way it is she will slowly lose interest because it’s to easy. Sometimes we like a challenge!!
Hey evrybody.I’m doing a research paper on Family Law in Australia and it would be great if u could help.=)
1) Please describe the process of divorce in Malaysia.
2) Are there any requirements the couple must fulfill before they are eligible to file for a divorce?
3) In Australia, the only ground for divorce is the inevitable breakdown of a marriage. This must be proved by the couple through separation for more than 2years. How is this similar to the M’sian divorce process? If it is practiced here, will it make divorce easier to obtain?
4) There has been sources onlne which state that lawyers are not needed in the divorce process in Australia. In your opinion, will the professional help of a lawyer make any difference in the divorce process? Will it be easier or more difficult?
5) In the Australian divorce process, a counselling certificate must be attached to the divorce application for it to have a chance to be approved. Do you think this will make the divorce process easier? Is this criteria applicable in M’sia?
6) Online divorce is largely popular in Australia. Divorce Kits containing divorce application forms are available via online. Is this possible in Malaysia? In your opinion, What are the risks involved in online divorce? Will this shorten the divorce process and save the couple hassle?
7) Amicable arrangements must be made about child custody and property matters before a divorce is approved. Consent orders are commonly used to deal with these matters. How will a consent form settle matters faster? How can both parties benefit from this?
During a divorce hearing in Australia, the hearing can be conducted in the absence of either party with permission from the court or if the couple does not have children. However, if there are children under 18 years, both parties can choose not to attend the hearing if a joint application for divorce is made. Is this applicable to Malaysia’s process?
9) Is divorce easy to obtain in M’sia? Comparing Australia’s with M’sia’s requirements for a divorce, which one is easier?
No but I have a friend who lives in Australia and I will give you her Yahoo addy and you can ask her. It is snnhmltn@yahoo.com.au and she should be able to help you or find out the answer for you. E-mail her and she will be glad to help you as she is married and should have a pretty good idea.
How long do you give this new Bruce Willis-Emma Heming marriage to last?
So Bruce Willis, 54, just married 30 year old Emma Heming, for reasons which I’m sure were strictly due to love and by Bruce Willis’s marvelous physical appearance at 54. Stupid Bruce Willis….is really the short term affection of this young woman worth half of your fortune and half of everything you worked on? Wouldn’t using a hooker save him $60 million?
Here’s guessing that she didn’t want a pre-nuptial agreement, and guilted Bruce Willis into thinking that “he can trust her, really, he can” or “are you trying to forecast divorce with a pre-nup”, meanwhile, planning in the darkest, diabolical recesses on her mind to divorce in a few years, for really no reason at all. Why go through the time-wasting inconvenience of working hard at all when you can use your looks to increase your net-worth/combine assets? You only have one life to live anyway, why waste it on working hard when you can simply play on someone’s desires for sex, and make somebody work hard for you and then destroy them in one shot in the future, coldly calculating machinations under the parameters that the legal system/liberal judges laid into place, but yet ultimately doing little work to get this money since all you really have to do is wait for years and enjoy unemployment during that time, and then file for divorce? They look happy now, because that’s Emma Heming’s putting into practice lessons from the Gold-Digger handbook to fake affection. In 2009, some things never change.
I don’t feel bad for Bruce Willis, because his myopic stupidity & lust will punish him later.
How long do you give it until this Emma Heming drops the divorce bomb for vague, weak, negligable reasons like “unhappiness” or “wanted something new in life”, as she then demands $60 million dollars and half of Bruce Willis’s real estate. I’m sure the future divorce would be completely because of something horrible Bruce Willis did in the marriage and will have nothing to do with Emma seeking money (sarcasm).
I don’t hate women, I just hate lazy gold-diggers.
Believe it or not his odds are just as good as Joe Schmoe’s.
Can I save my marriage of 4 years? My husband cheated and many are saying it is a midlife crisis.?
Long story short….he cheated last year, I found out, he was in denial, we went to counseling, he had a heart attack, I saved his life….that made him worse. He said he still loved me, but too much damage had been done, but we continues to play me. We acted like a married couple, going on dates etc and when I moved into another room, he also came in and slept next to me every night. He also cried in my arms several times, told me he needed help (but won’t get it), even said his lies are getting worse at one point. Our fights got worse and that is when I discovered that he started another affair with a woman out of state. He said they are “friends” but refuses to introduce us (at one point he admitted they slept together numerous times). He finally moved out and I found out he was going on dates with other women in town and continuing a relationship with his “friend” in a different state, buying her gifts, telling her they have a future, etc while he just tells me that love is not enough for a marriage, BUT he still calls me and wants to get together with me occasionally.
I could not take it anymore, so I filed for divorce. He called me crying, asking why I could not wait a few months etc. I told him to get rid of his friend and he said “only if he knew we were going to be together.” He still calls and wants to know how I am doing and lies about his whereabouts when I ask. So why the lies and why does he keep in touch? Is this a “midlife thing” or did he suffer brain damage during his heart attack? Or does he just want to start a life with this other woman? I was hoping the divorce would force him to make a decision, but he just says “it is your fault, you are the one who is doing this” and he has also said “I don’t have to convey.” What should I do?
get 5 million dollar life insurance on him, and start serving him a lot of red meat, bacon, and fried foods.
how can i tell her i want a divorce?
How do you go trough counseling to “try” to save your marriage (but actually try to explain during the process that you don’t love her and want a divorce) when you know you don’t love her anymore and not in love with her. Reason being physical abuse which went on for a while. Were going through therapy but like i told her i dont want this but she dosnt understand that she wants me to try try try and i dont want to….so how do i go about counseling and let her realize through it that i really want a divorce.
Please advice from your heart ?
I am Richard I am 39 I am USA Citizen, I merried on Jan 8 of 2008 a 23 year old from Mexico, this bythe way it’s my 2nd merriage, to me it’s very important the fidelity aspect, we had our first child on Sep 03, 08, 2 weeks ago she was in the shower when her phone rang, I just answered without saying anything, I heard a male voice saying, how’s it’s going hnoney, I said who it’s this and the guy hang up, I face her and she said it was a guy who she meet by acident when i called the wrong number, I went to the phone company ind it turnd out to be the doctor of Mexico were she used to worked at, she confesed to me that she was haveing an affair, before she met me, during the time of fiance and stop 1 week before we got married, i got very mad I spit her face and call he a bit**ch, I drove over to Mexico and i face this doctor, and he acepted all, i came back home and i don’t know why i mad love to her, after that I told her that there was not force on the earth that will stop me to go and tell this doctor wife, I felt at sleep and she wake me up saying police was on the way, she presented charges of famililiy violence and sex assult, I want to jail in two different times for each charge. While we ere together I satarted her green card visa to become a legal resident of the USA, when I got out of jail I find out she had left the house with my 2 months old baby, She it;s trying to pass as a victim to get her permanent residency, police said I have a 30 to 90 days immediate restrainted order, I can’t see her or call her, I miss my little baby, WHAT CAN I DO, Should I give her a chance to save my marriage……….if yes, she it’s already telling everyone that she it’s going to continue with the process of divorce, I fear for my freadom and my marriage……….please post as many answer with as many lines of advice as possible, God bless you all